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10.23.2012

It's Okay to Say No

{a wonderful quote from Steve Jobs via}

You always hear stories about people with serious commitment issues.
You know the ones that can never say those three simple words - "I love you."

For me, it's different. Instead of struggling with those three words, I struggle with just one.
One word. Two letters. And you wanna know what that word is? -- "NO."

I have the WORST time saying "no" to people.
I have this tendency to say "yes" to everyone and everything, which is extremely frustrating.
No matter how many things I have on my to-do list, I think to myself...
"Oh come on, one more thing isn't going to hurt you."

But as I'm looking at my to-do list today, I'm realizing this is a problem.
Not only have I said yes to "one more thing" but I continue to do it over and over again.
That "one more thing" has now turned into "ten more things".

For the two weeks, I've felt overwhelmed, behind on emails, and drowning in to-do's.
I've been drained of all my blogging inspiration and I haven't had time to do much at all.
When Skye offered to help me out, I immediately wanted to say "no" to her.
Not because I didn't want the help, but because of who I am.
I knew I had to say "yes"...but just how could I do that?

I've always had this need to control everything and to do everything myself.
Thinking that no one else could possibly do it as well as I could and it's not worth it.
But let me tell you something, it IS worth it. 
Letting go sometimes is the best thing to do.
Here's what I'm learning this week...

It's okay to say "no" to things, in order to say "yes" to others.


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20 comments:

  1. saying "no" can be so incredibly liberating! :)

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  2. This is so true, and the more you embrace this mind-set, the more you will be able to accomplish wholeheartedly!

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  3. Gosh. I know exactly how you feel. I actually have that quote printed out and put up in my.room, but honestly, I can't seem to follow it. I had to give up my officer position on the debate team because I didn't have time.to give a hundred percent to everything else, but now there is.something else I'm interested in and I don't know what to do.

    <3Hima

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  4. I know what you mean, I tend to always agree to everything as well, but I am learning to say no. It's absolutely okay to say no! Thanks for this lovely reminder! xxx

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  5. I'm the same way. I end up feeling resentful because the one thing you offered to do turns into 50 or that once you've done it, you're expected to from now on. I have the hardest time telling people no, and I still am not very good at it. I help other people so much I neglect myself sometimes.

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  6. Oh Danielle!! I am totally with you on this one! I have the same problem, I have a super hard time saying no to people.
    Its crazy! Now if I could get this post messaged to my inbox everyday maybe I would start to get it ;)
    Thanks for sharing such awesome words friend!
    Much Love,
    L

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  7. I love the saying that "A need doesn't constitute a call." I have thought of it often as there are SO many opportunities and needs out there and then there are the things we want to do and have to do. Just because it is there and we are capable doesn't mean we are the right person for it. You are so right that saying NO is hard...but a great thing to learn and {try} to practice! I am a yes-person like you...and have a bad guilty conscience. Which makes stuff that much worse! :/

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  8. This is actually something that I have struggled with so much, especially with blogging! I always see people asking for things and I automatically volunteer. I need to stop that!

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  9. You're exactly right and this is something that at 30, I'm still trying to learn how to do. :)

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  10. You hit the spot on this one.

    I used to struggle with saying no because I didn't want to disappoint or I was afraid of being thought of as incapable.

    These days, however, I am realizing that I am struggling with saying no to myself. I don't seem to know when enough is enough. I have a pile high of lists and my planner is all filled and used up. I try to pencil in as much as I can, thinking I can do it, and then end up cancelling. I think this is worse! lol.

    Thanks for the encouragement, Danielle. :)

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  11. Ok- great post!! I feel the exact same way! I thank you for sharing this!!! <3

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  12. Oh! I have such an issue with this - I just feel so awful if I say no! But you are so right.

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  13. Saying no is the hardest thing for me. Especially at my job. I can't say that "its not my job" other people do, but I just can't. I end up with wayyy too much to do that I don't even know that much about.

    I hope you hang in there, hun.
    We will get there :)

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  14. Omg I could have written this post......still working on the nos.......big time!

    Carly
    www.lipglossandcrayons.com

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  15. I am SO with you on this. I've struggled with this for years. I'm slowly, sloooooooooowly getting better, but it still pains me to say no.

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  16. AH! This post sounds like it came straight from Influence! :) I'm trying so hard to learn that when I say no to something, it allows me to yes to other things. Such a valuable, but hard lesson to learn!

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  17. how funny - I just heard a sermon preached about how its okay to say no :)

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